This reason generator was created for two reasons, and two reasons only. The first reason: to allow you to ridicule random people on the internet with words that may or may not have come from you. Seriously, this is even better than total internet anonymity, since the person you're ridiculing doesn't even know which one was yours! That is the definition of internet awesomeness.

The second reason was so we could all laugh at, with, or about each other. This is a satellite site for HowToNotSuck.com, so it seemed appropriate to base this random reason generator around the general theme of people sucking.

Besides, fact generators about specific people have already been done. Vin Diesel is a pussy.